I’m tired….

If you've been wondering why i haven't been blogging lately, it's obviously because of the recent Copenhagen Interpolation conference. Spending most of a month focusing on such an event almost guarantees some sort of anti-climactic post-conference syndrome. in my case mental exhaustion.

some days i find it hard to convince myself that what i'm doing is worthwhile. i basically work with wireless community networks, and internet for the developing world because i belive it's a good thing to do. it's been a while since we've made any money out of this, and things are pretty difficult.
most importantly, i still believe that this is a good thing to be doing, and i have yet to find the job that is as worthwhile as this.

but on days like these, the thought sometimes pops into my mind that i am wasting my time. that the incumbent telecoms are here to stay, and the southern countries (africa, latin america, southern asia) will never get equal access to information. Or at the very least that the role i am playing is insignificant.

and on days like these, i sometiumes dream of the challenges of a dynamic workplace. having clear goals, and a clear path to reach these goals. something slightly less lofty than spending your savings trying to make a difference.

on those days i miss a workplace with colleagues, daily tasks and a direct reliance and appreciation of what i do.

This is one of those days, and it leaves me mentally exhausted with little energy to do what has to be done, and very little faith in myself, the future of the internet or this business for that matter.

On the other hand, there have been, and will be, so many days where i'm proud and happy that i am at least wrestling with that dream. I'll be back